Proposal

Ok.. So I am all up for arranged marriages but this one was such a blow to my self esteem. So I know how people say oh looks don’t matter when you get married and blah blah blah.. But I think it sure does when it comes to first impressions and attraction overall. Looks of course depend on your perspective however that being said my man who ever it may be needs to be at least a 8 on a scale of 1 – 10 based on international standards.

Waking up to prospects of a marriage proposal ain’t fun. Especially when you have not even had breakfast and just woken up on Saturday. My mother had met with some Aunty down our lane who had mentioned the prospects of a proposal to this good Anglican boy (WTH just coz I am Anglican I obviously get matched with an Anglican and a good boy like what the hell is that?) who is engaged in such a job and yada yada yada.. I will refrain from mentioning his job prospects just so that I don’t sound snobbish.

Marriage is a cover a protection for a girl and not something that she has to have. It should be something that enhances her life prospects and wellbeing overall and not drag her down. These aunties I tell you.. honestly.. just because your single doesn’t mean that we are dying to get married to every Tom Dick and Harry. Plus I mean I am going to sound like a snob when I say this but given that I am already someone who has a very low self esteem with regard to my appearance and size lo and behold when I saw his Facebook profile my heart shattered. He did not look at all like my type.. Like it was soo bad.. And I know I was asked by one of my friends to not call people ugly but he looked like soooooooooo bad. Like I don’t know.. God created everything so well but this was just not my type of creation ok.

I felt so bad for being paired with or some actually thought of someone like that as a good partner for me. Like may be now to think of it I am not at all up for this arranged marriage shit.. Like may be I want to choose who it’s going to be like a good hunky type with some form of intellectual profession on his resume. Yes I sound like a real snob for saying all of the above..but this is the rest of my life we are talking about may be I should have a say and be absolutely blunt and brutally honest. Someone who compliments me and not someone who drags you down.

Lesson of the day ensure you have good selfies if your single and your parents are arranging your marriage.. I might be checking your profile out..

Pain in the butt!!

Everyday is like a wake up call… LIFE IS NOT PERFECT! However much you try to lead it according to morals and to your religious views or whatever you encounter an ass-hole or two, and there goes all your morals and peace all down the drain.

It took soo much patience today to not punch this asshole in the face. Ironically HR is ‘the’ place you encounter ass holes as much as their job is to not be ass holes to people. No wonder people have unions and protest in organisations.. All because of a bloody useless unit.

The workplace which I sadly like most of you spend hours on end, is a so called religious organisations.. which harbours self righteous ass holes.. of which may be just may be I could too be categorized as an ass hole on someone else’s definitions. And may be writing this post is my ass hole move 😛

We work by choice, I am here by choice.. and we sign a new piece of paper which extends our choice on their terms still by choice. Thus by all means given that they failed to give it on time.. only because I am of junior caliber.. is indeed outrageous because of the type of work the organisation itself engages in. So givem the months delay.. i further delayed (only a week which will end tomorrow) on my part in making the choice as it was important to me to consult my superior before hand. Storming into the floor this ass hole (who after receiving a promotion walks about a foot above the ground and couldn’t wait another three more days) threw this piece of paper at me claiming that he could no longer keep it with him. What?

1) If at all someone should be breaking hell and making a scene it should have been as I have been deprived of a promotional salary for two months now.
2) He is not my boss to treat me like crap. Honestly I have had my fair share of nightmare bosses and no one treated me like this. I would expect work related superiors to treat me like this not someone who is supposed to be your focal for all work related condolences
3) Is this the type of learning to display at an organisation claiming to be motivated by religious learnings
4) I guess when you do not pertain prior qualifications or prior experience and get too accustomed to the ways of a single organisation this is what materialises. Your personality reflects on the piece of shit hole you are!

It took soo much of patience honestly to not scream and throw something and also given that I was on an important call provided him a better chance. But seriously.. DIE!

Damage

When you think things are just perfect and going your way, life throws a whole shit bag at you! I mean it just keeps getting stinkier and stinker..

Think I posted about this gawd-awful thing one of my so-called friend did to me last year.. and actually deleted that particular post as it would give my identity away! 😛 But however.. I just have to post about this now.. it keeps eating into my soul every single day I keep quiet about it! This post however is not going to be the one that reveals the big-what-happened!!

So after almost about years of silence and weirdness.. my nerd freak high school friends have decided to ‘contact’ me and ask me why I have pushed them away and how I have failed to keep in touch and with how they are not taking sides and all that jazz that girls tell, when they have no other drama in their lives.

Being a ‘Drama Queen’ myself.. I too didn’t let this chance slip away and basically told this particular friend of mine to shove it and also accept the fact that I am NOT the only one to blame in all of what she was accusing me of being. So far it has been two days, and no reply at all guess the message went through that I don’t tolerate bull shit they throw at me anymore.

I loved these friends soo much, but when these things happened.. I assumed they had taken the side of this other girl who was also my friend. It was wrong of me to do so, I agree. But things have been falling apart from way before that. Every time I met with one or a few of them, others always had something to say about it because they fucking didn’t even make an effort unless it was for them. Also I had lost touch with almost all of them.. because honestly just couldn’t be bothered going behind people who didn’t give a shit. I felt like I was the one to always go after them and make an effort to still be friends.. plus they also had this bad habit of discussion others in the clique behind their back.. which I too was apart of.. which these people all deny.

And in the mean time I found friends who actually made an effort to be friends. They would come to see my concerts and do little surprises.. although little they actually made an effort to be friends! And just the same I too made an effort the same way to do so.

Today I was added on some thread, and I honestly don’t understand.. but I guess when you are singled out what ever you do becomes rude! But I deleted myself from that particular thread and explained to one of the friends why I won’t be able to make it. But it was taken to be very ‘rude’.. I mean honestly fuck all of you for judging me for what ever I do.. I don’t think I have to explain what I do.. anymore.. I live and do the fuck I want to do! I am soo mad rights now it’s not even funny..

I honestly don’t know how to react to situations like this anymore.. who is wrong or who is right.. it’s just all a blurr.. I just don’t want to get hurt and get all messed up like before.. and I don’t want to feel like I don’t have anyone on my side.

The Good, The Bad and The Not So Nice!

Adjusting to a working environment is difficult, especially if you have been the only other person in your department other than your boss. This I observed once I started working for a bigger company with staff country wide three months back. When you come in, your mind is clear and your view about each person is pure and nice. But after a few months, once you make friends… that’s when things start getting ugly.

So it was not exactly a confrontation, but of course I am at fault here.. kind of reminds me of the whole Regina George and the burn book situation, but I was just may be venting about someone else or I was just being a bitch! So I was discussing a work situation about someone else (I kind of lied to her as well, saying that the person that I was talking about didn’t mean about her but she actually did..) but it was pretty awful because she said she had heard that I was telling some not so nice things about her to (the person I was talking to) others!! :O

I felt awful! Not because she got to know, but because I was too quick to judge when she hadn’t done anything to me and also that I said that about her. I know you can’t please everyone, but it can’t hurt you to be a little nicer to people.

New work resolution: Not to be judgmental, and not to speak about anyone to anyone, which everyone does!